alteregoliz: (animal portrait)
From a column written by EJ Dionne Jr at the Washington Post: Unearned Blessings

"The rule is: Make no gratuitous enemies," he said. "The key word is 'gratuitous'."

If you stand for something, you will always make enemies. That is part of the price of being principled. What you should avoid are entirely unnecessary fights that advance no cause but create bitter feelings. I’ll always think of it as a singularly important piece of political wisdom.

alteregoliz: (panthere @ VMB)
I had a request to post my words from Donald's memorial service. I've posted what I had written plus an approximation of some other parts I ad-libbed on.


Donald asked me to marry him last summer. I couldn’t say yes at the time, but I didn’t say no. At the time I had barely met his daughters and hadn’t met any of the rest of his family. We both had things we needed to work on. But I asked if we could work on these things so that it could one day be “yes” and we had begun to do that.

I met Donald soon after I moved to Seattle in March of 2006 when we worked for the same remodeling company. I remember our first real conversation, a coincidental meeting on a ferry on a sunny day in August of 2006. I was in costume headed to a Renaissance Faire. We discovered our common interests in costuming, history, and sharp-edged weapons. When he returned to work on Monday, he told his coworkers, "She's got swords."

I've heard it said that "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Before I met Donald, I had never heard of "polyamory". The lifestyle at first seemed too foreign for me to accept. We went our separate ways for a while and when we started dating again I knew better what to expect, but still the reprogramming of relationship expectations and boundaries was a challenge, to say the least. Donald did not ask me to accept this challenge. He simply made it available.

My personal rewards in regard to polyamory are many. The one that is most striking today is the sense of kind community I feel with Donald's Loves, past and present. We have come together in our shared loss and have been of great comfort for each other.

Donald also introduced me to the Goth community. Again, he simply opened the door to my Goth closet and left it for me to exit in my own way. In this community I have discovered a place where, more than any other group outside of my family, I feel understood, loved and at home.

The most important thing Donald shared with me was his family, and especially his girls. I was honored that he trusted me enough to introduce me to his daughters and to bring me into his family. I was honored to also bring him into mine.

Through my personal relationship with Donald, I learned that I was more loveable than I had ever realized. He saw beauty all around him and through him I learned to see more as well. When I felt I was at my worst, he still saw beauty in me.

His depth of character challenged me to reach deeper into mine. He was not afraid of my honesty, which encouraged me to speak it out loud more often.

Donald was a natural born healer. Reiki was one of several modalities of energy work that he studied. He believed that he was obligated to give freely of his healing ability. He helped to increase my own understanding of Reiki and as a result I know I have more to offer as a healer.

In the arts, Donald's example inspired me to take up my camera again. His encouragement led me to share my art with others.

Donald did not fear any of life's experiences and emotions. He enjoyed watching others look at his own works, happy to see their reactions. Again his example taught me something, both as an artist and as an observer of others' art, to not fear the display of an honest reaction.

Donald's presence created a special space where kindness, personal responsibility and honesty were welcomed and nurtured. But, for all the openness of his heart, he was slow to confide its secrets. Much of who he was will always be a mystery and I think he would want it that way. It’s okay that we don’t know everything.

Donald's world was full of kind and caring people. The experience that we each had with him was unique and I hope a source of celebration for us all.

Donald believed that death was not to be feared, but accepted as part of our souls' journey. The Friday after Donald died, a few of his friends created a small, beautiful shrine in the space where he died. Many of those who gathered that evening went to that place and I could see that it aided them in their grieving. Overnight it rained. In the morning I went out again to the shrine. As I sat before it in the morning silence, I felt the Earth beneath me pulse with life and knew that Donald was a part of it.

Though we may ache at the loss of his physical existence, and though his life ended in great pain, that one moment cannot diminish the blazing light of Loving Kindness that was and is Donald's Presence in this world and in our lives.
alteregoliz: (lips)
Happy Birthday, [ profile] queenofthenight 

Hope you're having a lovely day!  :)


alteregoliz: (confessional)
Well, I've been saying I'm not really Goth because I honestly didn't know what that meant.  I was informed that anyone who wears so much black, carries an Undead Doll around as a lucky charm and does Netflix searches for vampire movies is most def Goth.  The implication:  "who the hell did I think I was kidding?"  :-p

Upon review I decided that the only real criteria I should worry about is whether or not I feel Goth suits me.  I then decided that it does.

So there you go, [ profile] buz .  I am Goth.

For a little added entertainment value, I took a test...

Your result for The GOTH Test ...

Very Goth

You scored ###! - WTF?

You're a Goth. Whether you admit it freely or not there is no denying it. You love the stuff and can't get enough. You decorate your living space in a way that is part morbid part chaotic.I'm sure your music is mostly Goth/Industrial/Darkwave. Wherever you go you're probably dressed mostly in black.Not only do you know who Switchblade Symphony is, you own every CD and EP they ever put out. Your dream profession is definatly something that benifits goths-Tattoo artist, goth DJ, freelance Gothic artist, Gothy comic creator ect.ect.ect...

Compared to other takers

  • 79/100 You scored 66% on gothies, higher than 79% of your peers.

How everyone did

  • gothies Distribution
alteregoliz: (antique 3)

 I have a great friend in Arizona who is a VERY active Republican.  A few weeks ago he gave me hope when he said he was having a hard time talking himself into voting for McCain.  I have the following from him today:

"I wanted to congratulate you and your candidate on the election last evening. It's truly the beginning of a wonderful new era now that a black man has been elected president. I am actually very excited about the future."

My response:

"Thanks very much.  That's very gracious of you and I'm glad to hear you are excited about the future.  Obviously I am as well.  I thought McCain's speech last night was very well done - one of his best.  I'm sure he'll continue to be an effective member of our Congress."

I almost still can't believe it.  I went to a great house party last night.  Afterward, I soooo wanted to join the folks on
Capitol Hill

, but I was responsible  :o(  and went to bed instead.  Something tells me the parties will continue...

another great story link


alteregoliz: (Default)

February 2016

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